Friday, December 3, 2010

Help?!

So remember when I told you about High School Placement tests? Well I also have to write an application. And I need a little more to what I have already. Care to add some wisdom or anything??


So this is what we have to write about: Why do you want to go to Cardinal Spellman?

This is what I wrote:

I want to go to Spellman because it is a great opportunity.  If I go to Cardinal Spellman I would have the chance to discover who I want to be. Also I would get to take fun yet academic classes. I would get the chance to be in a small nice community of classmates. I want to come to this school because education is one of my top priorities. I believe if someone gets a good education they can go anywhere in life. I would love to have that opportunity and I think Cardinal Spellman can offer me that.

Okay well that is due Monday.
And sorry about this oh so boring and quick post because now i have to go sell tickets at bingo and try not to rip people off. Then I'm going to a basketball game. Go!! Woah!!Go Emily!! (my friend ive had since birth tell you about later)

As always
hugs,
Shannon
[21 days until Christmas!!!]

And here's a picture to last you a day or so:
YouSnoozeGeluz
isnt it cute?

4 comments:

  1. Hey Shannon!
    Wow, that sounds like a lot! I really like the way you started it, but here's some tips. I took two years of writing classes so I'm not completely hopeless :)
    1. Try to stop using to much "I". It makes your writing monotonous and boring to read.
    2. Mix up the word choice.
    3. Envision, and possibly write long term goals you may have.
    4. Don't give the school TOO much praise. Just dish it out not so obviously.
    5. Include personal achievements.
    6. Include good qualities of yours.

    I hope this helped! If I think of anything else I'll definitely tell you!

    Bye!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your picture looks like Plank off of Ed Edd and Eddy. It is isn't it!!! So cute!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I absolutly love your application paragraph!! I think it's great!! It's written smoothly but says so much!! Great job!!
    I've been writing all those stupid applications too recently :( why can't they just ask us one question and me done with it?? Lol
    --- Jen

    ReplyDelete
  4. Melanie- actually that helped A LOT!!
    Aria-now that you mention it, it does.
    Jen- i know right!! They should all just ask us like a sentence answer, I'm really good at those :)

    ReplyDelete

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luv,
~Moi

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